Why is it that when I have the most to do I find so many things to distract me, and keep putting it off? Tomorrow never comes because it’s always the day after today. The past week, for the first time in a while, I actually feel like I’ve done stuff. I submitted my journalism coursework and went to a job interview, as well as submitting an application I needed to do for the past three weeks. The sense of accomplishment is great, but it’s made me think about why I can’t work like this all the time. What is it that holds me back from doing the things I fully well know I’m capable of?
The fear of failing. If I have a story to write for uni I am crippled with doubts about my plot or worrying that nobody will like it. But surely if I just write that first draft then I can get feedback to help me improve. If I need to make dinner I worry that I’ll burn it or get the recipe wrong. Of course the more I cook the better I’ll get, ordering take away won’t help my kitchen skills (or my bank account!)
It’s an interesting life lesson really, something which everyone has to go through in order to become a successful member of society. Finding out what motivates you. What makes you get out of bed in the morning, what keeps you going when you’ve only had three hours sleep the night before? For me, one of the things that has always driven me has been writing. I have always dreamed of being an author, or a journalist. When I watched The Devil Wears Prada it just made me more eager, and every magazine I read inspires me. So whenever I feel disheartened I try to think about where I want to be in five years from now, working in a magazine office in London. I’ll need to do a lot of things then, and I guess one motivation will be money, but ultimately it’s the enjoyment I get from writing and creating that I want.
By the way I found out yesterday that I’ve got the job! =)